so… my first memory? a bank robbery.
I was four years old, hiding under a banker's desk while two gunmen demanded money. What I learned that day shaped how I've sought safety ever since—and probably influences how you do too.
As I watched the leaves turn the most amazing colors in the yard, I started reflecting on how our earliest experiences shape the ways we seek comfort and safety throughout our lives.
This week, I’m sharing a memory that recently resurfaced–one that reminds me why understanding our need for safety is so foundational to our wellness journey.
Sometimes the most profound insights come from looking back at where we’ve been. Let’s explore this together.
👇 In today’s email:
This week’s inspiration: My first memory? A bank robbery.
Latest blog post: My Go-To Stress & Anxiety Toolkit
What I’m listening to: Mitch Albom Is A ‘Walking Example Of A Second Chance’
My First Memory? A Bank Robbery.
It’s funny how early childhood memories get buried, and how little it takes for them to resurface. I just re-remembered this one while listening to an audiobook with a similar scene.
I was four years old in Newtonville, Massachusetts. My mother was meeting with a banker when two gunmen burst in–faces hidden, one shouting “Everyone, hands in the air!” while the other leapt over the counter. This wasn’t something I saw on television. I was actually there.
The banker shoved me under the desk–all 40 pounds of me with my black bowl cut–so close to her bunchy tan stockings and sensible heels. My mother was very pregnant with my brother, and there I crouched and waited. The banker could’ve touched the panic button underneath her desk to alert the police, but she didn’t. She was protecting me.
I don’t remember much of what happened next, except that the robbers left with their sacs of money, and while the police surveyed the crime scene, someone opened the basement candy machine and put the entire contents in a trash bag for me. I was elated. Later, I went home to tell my seven-year-old brother that not only had I been in a bank robbery, I had a huge amount of candy I had no intention of sharing.
What Young Me Learned
What I gathered from this experience was simple but profound: the world was not always a safe place. In the months that followed, I was scared the bank robbers would come to our house. I buried myself under layers of Laura Ashley frills with all my stuffed animals piled on top of me in bed. If somebody came in, they would never find me. I would be safe.
Finding Safety as Adults
As adults, we have to find ways to feel safe and comfortable in the world–and surrounding ourselves with piles of stuffed animals probably isn’t sustainable (although I often reach for my silk sleep mask, which feels similar. Though during night sweats, it makes me way too hot!).
This brings me to questions I invite you to consider:
What are the ways that you feel safe in the world?
What are the things you do to soothe yourself?
Time with friends? Movement? Ritual?
What brings you back to a place of feeling like it’s all going to be okay?
Understanding our own safety needs—and the healthy ways we can meet them–is foundational to managing anxiety and stress. It’s not indulgent; it’s essential. And yes, you can create a life where you feel genuinely safe and grounded, even when the world feels uncertain.
My Go-To Stress & Anxiety Toolkit
After seeing thousands of women over two decades, I can say with confidence: anxiety plagues almost everyone. Maybe now more than ever. Hormonal ups and downs, self-doubt, unrealistic societal expectations–they’ve been kicking our collective butt for quite a long time.
Here’s what’s interesting: these problems are thousands of years old. But luckily, so is acupuncture.
In this blog post, I break down exactly how acupuncture works to calm your nervous system, supported by both ancient wisdom and modern research. I share:
How acupuncture physically changes your stress response
The specific ways it addresses anxiety in women during hormonal transitions
What to expect from treatment (and why consistency matters)
Complementary practices to enhance your results
If you’ve been curious about acupuncture for stress relief, or if you’re simply looking for science-backed natural solutions, this guide is for you.
Mitch Albom Is A ‘Walking Example Of A Second Chance’
This interview with Mitch Albom on Fresh Air really moved me. He’s best known for Tuesdays with Morrie, and he’s out with a new book called Chimes of a Lost Cathedral (though the interview also touches on his latest work about life decisions and how even the smallest changes affect the landscape of our existence).
What draws me to this conversation is Albom’s reflection on second chances and the grace of being able to rewrite our stories–even after profound loss or mistakes. His perspective on resilience, meaning, and human connection feels especially relevant as we navigate our own transitions and transformations.
It’s a lovely, thoughtful conversation that left me feeling more hopeful about the unexpected turns life takes.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts →
Wishing you equanimity and safe, cozy moments as we usher in a new week.
Xoxoxoxox
Dr. Cat 🥰