Remember me as you pass by.
A story about preparing for death and life.
As I sit here in the quiet aftermath of Thanksgiving, surrounded by empty serving platters and the lingering scent of rosemary, I’m struck by how the holidays remind us what really matters. This weekend, my home was filled with laughter, board games until 2am, and more meals than I can count. We fed an army – our children, their partners, their friends.
But here’s what’s been on my mind: we assume these gatherings are a given. “See you at Christmas,” we say, as if time is infinite and guaranteed. The truth? It’s not. And that realization is ok – and maybe even liberating.
Today, I want to share a story about preparing for death that’s really about living fully.
👇 In today’s email:
This week’s inspiration: Remember me as you pass by
Latest blog post: Soup is a girl’s best friend
What I’m listening to: Jimmy Iovine with Rick Rubin
Remember Me As You Pass By
When I was a kid, the Appalachian Trail ran just two miles from my house. We lived in an old farmhouse built in 1770—floorboards 18 inches wide and hand forged nails. The house had ghosts, but I’ll save that story for another time.
Beyond the house, in the hills along the trail, there was a cemetery. Wind and time had erased so many of the tombstones, but one inscription stayed with me. I can still see my little fingers tracing over the worn etching:
“Remember me as you pass by,
So as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, soon you shall be,
Prepare for death and follow me.”
What Preparing for Death Really Means
Four decades later, I see this gravestone message differently. Preparing for death isn’t just about getting your affairs in order with your lawyer. It’s about getting your human affairs in order. It’s about honoring your soul’s brightness and passion in whatever years remain.
It’s about finding your inner light and keeping it on—a fire only you can tend.
The Gift of Now
This Thanksgiving weekend, we made homemade chicken broth for risotto (using carnaroli, not arborio—we find it far superior). We roasted six chickens stuffed with lemons and local garlic. We made cranberry sauce from berries harvested from Cape Cod bogs, roasted Brussels sprouts cut fresh from the stalk, and tomato salads drizzled in olive oil and crushed oregano from Crete.
The meals begot more meals. More children appeared. Our house became a cacophony of booming laughter, board games, and cocktails that stretched until 2am—for nights in a row.
Even as we hugged goodbye, we said, “See you for Christmas,” as if everything is guaranteed. But the truth is, we don’t really know. There are no guarantees.
Your Call to Action
Preparing for death is about making the meaningful times count. It’s about pulling all the light and joy into your body through every conceivable pore. It’s about letting that brightness erase the hard and stuck things inside—making space for luminosity, and even one more wayward friend who wants to rejoice, laugh, and most importantly, help clean the kitchen.
As we move into December, I want to ask you: What fire are you tending? What light are you keeping on? And who are you inviting to share in that warmth?
Soup is a girl’s best friend
No doubt you have leftovers lingering from this weekend. Here’s something I’ve learned: even the peels of garlic and onion can begin a soup that will sustain you throughout the week.
I often find it’s best to make a soup and not eat it for two days—the taste improves over time. A soup made Sunday tastes perfect by Tuesday. If you work outside the house, hot soup in a thermos is a lifesaver. If you’re home juggling Zoom calls or young children, soup is the easiest meal that still feels nourishing.
Hearty, easy to digest, and gentle on the waistline, soup is basically a girl’s best friend. In my latest blog post, I share my recipe for turning your Thanksgiving remnants into something sustaining and delicious.
Jimmy Iovine with Rick Rubin
How is Jimmy Iovine only 72 years old? It boggles the mind when you consider everything he’s accomplished.
He’s responsible for so much great music from the latter quarter of the 20th century and beyond—working with John Lennon, U2, baby-faced Bruce Springsteen, and developing the talents of Gwen Stefani, Eminem, Tupac Shakur, the Black Eyed Peas, Whitney Houston, and legions more. He’s also responsible for developing Apple Music and co-founded Beats with Dr. Dre.
Even with all this success, he says he hates business. In this conversation with Rick Rubin, he explains why. It’s a fascinating look at creativity, collaboration, and what it means to build something lasting while staying true to your instincts.
I’m cheering for you,
Dr. Catherine
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