How the hell am I supposed to take care of myself?
Nine months to make. A number not lost on me.
This week, one of my clients arrived resplendent—and also in early labor. She said she didn’t want to miss her appointment. My next client arrived with booming news: she was pregnant too, after quite a journey. It got me thinking about what it truly means to be a mother—and how we replenish what we give.
👇 In today’s email:
This week’s inspiration: On giving too much of ourselves
Latest blog post: How to glow from the inside out
What I’m listening to: Psychedelics for women’s health
To All My Tired Mothers
As a mother for over 25 years, I feel in my core what it is to be a mother: to give sometimes without awareness of self and from depths I did not know I had, occasionally to my own detriment. So much of my practice has been about taking care of mothers—not just women who have procreated, but women who have given of themselves fully to others, to a movement; women who’ve nurtured a thing within and let it forth into the world.
One biological mother this week said: “How the hell am I supposed to take care of myself when all I do is take care of other people?” The words hung heavily in the air as we both understood this reality.
Many of my clients are mothers in one way or another. Perhaps they’re in their silver years, still recollecting the trials and tribulations their children put them through. Others have teens, school-age kids, toddlers, or even infants, having felt stir-crazy this week after many storms and many frigid days.
To all my tired mothers this week, I draped them in the most sacred fabric. In my intrepid years in the 90s, I found myself backpacking around Vientiane (the capital of Laos), and I stumbled across a mansion—slightly decrepit but with wonderful colonial charm. In it were some of the best weavers in Southeast Asia, quietly spinning fibers created from silkworms into something as luxurious as gold. The mansion had a dark room full of silkworms doing their magic. Women took the silk threads, creating more robust threads, then created natural dyes: deep red from betel nut, blue from indigo, and yellows from turmeric.
These women were creating works of absolute art, weaving tapestries like mine, which is 7 feet long. I drape it over mothers when they come for acupuncture. Perhaps my clients can feel it was made by women—and not only that, but in that mansion in Vientiane, the women who created it were given maternal care, postpartum care, and paid leave. And the time it takes to make one tapestry? Nine months—a number that is not lost on me.
My tapestry is deep red, or actually, I might even say persimmon. In Chinese Medicine, when we give forth so much of ourselves in the form of energy or chi, we also believe we give our blood. That must be the essence of motherhood: giving our vital life force.
To answer that question—how to take care of oneself in the midst of nurturing others—must lie in replenishing our own life force. Maybe by fireside meditation or sweet alone time. It can come nutritiously in the form of braised meats, black beans, cooked greens, royal jelly, and even, so decadently, black caviar to replenish so much of the energy.
The problem I see is, by overgiving our life force, we often don’t have enough to run our own bodies both physically and mentally, giving us anxiety, fatigue, headaches, and insomnia.
So in that vein, I wish you this week every opportunity for replenishment, even if it’s in 2- or 5-minute increments—to take some deep breaths and to salute your own value just for who you are, not just what you do or accomplish. And giving yourself much needed rest. 💓
How to Glow from the Inside Out
Now is a great time to take care of your skin, even in simple ways like taking some oats, putting them into the blender, adding a dollop of full-fat yogurt and a teeny bit of honey, and putting that cheap and simple mask on your face even while you do dishes.
Skin care doesn’t need to be expensive or even complicated. Right now, it’s not the sun we need to worry about. With days so short, the real culprits are harsh wind and dry air. Here are some ideas to rethink your skin care, to treat yourself with kindness and, of course, add a little bit of extra moisturizer everywhere, especially on those dry heels. They deserve it.
Psychedelics for Women’s Health (Solvable Podcast)
I very much enjoyed this podcast interview with Dr. Grace Blest-Hopley of King’s College London this week about the use of psychedelics for treatment of hormone-related issues in women, specifically the use of LSD, psilocybin (in “magic mushrooms”), mescaline (from peyote and San Pedro cacti), and DMT and MDMA. She discusses their use for treating PMDD, chronic pelvic pain, including endometriosis, and treatment-resistant depression.
I enjoyed all the information, although my only criticism is that the contraindications—who this is not appropriate for—were left for the last couple of minutes of the podcast. While this may be life-changing medicine for many people, it is not appropriate for everyone. And just as a professional disclaimer, these substances are actually illegal. However, they can be used in certain circumstances with a trained professional. Listen and let me know what you think.
Listen to the episode →
Here’s to your replenishment this week, in whatever form it takes.
Dr. Catherine